Getting back my social life: Dessert/Cafe-hopping along Upper Thomson

Another thing that ED took away from me was my social life. As ED inched its way into my life, along with it came excuses, lies and stories. When my friends or family asked me to join them for a meal, my mind would rush into panic mode and I would quickly come up with some excuse to avoid a high calorie, fat-filled, unhealthy dinner. Even if I did go out with them, I would purposely choose to eat the healthiest choice possible, sometimes even making up excuses like "I'm too full" or "I already ate" to skip meals. Gosh, that was horrible. I remember. Even though I was hungry, watching my friends munch on their popcorn happily during meals terrified me. And the hearty consolation I received from ED was "Great job for skipping the meal! Now you won't be as fat/unhealthy as them!' And I would grudgingly accept it, deciding it was worth it to be skinny rather than fat. But the consequences of all this lying, cheating? I lost friends. Not all my friends left, but I could tell the difference. When they were going out, they wouldn't ask me along. They would avoid asking me out even if it was just to watch a movie. And meals with my family were always terrible, filled with unhappiness and guilty thoughts. My face would always be painted black, with wild thoughts of calories, fats, carbohydrates, running through my mind. Dinners would be quiet affairs, with my family sharing worried looks at me while I poked at my food, formulating plans of how to possibly skip my next meal or restrict more. 

What an idiot I was.

When I decided to do my best to recover, one of the decisions I made was to get my life back. To have more meals with my friends and family, as this would kill any opportunities to avoid eating. So, since then, I've tried asking my friends and family out more to eat. My friends would be willing to eat and study with me, making it a very easy meal without having to think about food. Family meals would be filled with chatter of how the day/week went, I didn't have any chance to think about calories or have any anxiety. Now, I literally crave for times with my family and peers. Now, I'm scared of eating alone because I can't trust myself to do my best. I hope that soon, I'll be back to normal and be able to have meals independently, without worrying of myself choosing the healthiest choice available or simply the easy way out. 

Of course, I'm not that courageous yet. Sometimes, when my friends suggest eating at a fast food place or some where I really don't like, I'd still make up some excuse to skip it as I'd rather have something else. And that's something unavoidable, its something that'll have to take time. I'll get there someday. Someday, I'll be able to sit at Starbucks with a frappé, studying with my classmates. Someday, I'll be sitting in the cinema, enjoying nachos and popcorn with my family. Someday, I'll be able to eat whatever I feel like without feeling guilty or without a second thought about the nutrition of the food. I'll get there. I'll rather be an ignorant fool loving her food, than an overanxious compulsive liar letting someone run and ruin her own life. 

So, I invited my friends to study last Sunday and guess what we decided to do after that? EXPLORE UPPER THOMSON. Yes, food district+hungry people, always a good combination. I hereby present to you our cafe-hopping series! Okay fine its only 4 pathetic places but I'm gonna add more places okay ):< 

1st stop: Ritz Apple Strudel! 

Okay i know this is really common now but I'm sorry for being such a rock and not trying it yet in all my 16 years of living. I'm glad I finally got this opportunity to try it. We ordered the original Apple strudel and the strawberry flavored strudel. When it first arrived at our table, I was pretty shocked to realize there was cream in it. Whoever told me that it was just apple pie, was obviously lying cos hey bro apple pie has no cream. But I sucked it up, not taking out a single spray of cream nor a flake of strudel, i ate every bite. And savored it. The crispy flakes were glazed beautifully to thin perfection, while the cream suited the taste exactly. However, I preferred the strawberry one over the apple one. Good to keep off the hunger, but not something I'd have regularly :/

Hoho. First time trying Apple Strudel and now I know why people can't stop.

Then my friend got kind of triggering by starting to scoop out her cream. Like hey girl you're so skinny what's a little bit of cream gonna do to you urgh. But okay I shan't get negative here, I cleared my mind and let's move on! 

2nd stop: Salted Caramel Artisan Ice cream! I've always wanted to try salted caramel, as in the flavor, so I thought this place would specialize in salted caramel flavor. But apparently not, cos the flavor was.....disappointing. So were like all the five other flavors which i test tasted. I eventually decided on the double scoop Espresso and caramel biscuit, which was pretty much the nicest flavor there(in my opinion). I got the waffle separately since my friend and I shared it. The ice cream was good, but not a place I would come back to again. Plus, the service was terrible. Because we wanted to try so many flavors, the servers face was so black and angry. Like hey come on, we're just testing right?

3rd stop: 甜品之家! 

The trio of us laughed when we realized our pattern of eating was 'hot, cold, hot, cold' and we were thinking "Let's pray our stomach doesn't mess up after this" but you know, YOLO right? We were craving for sesame paste, especially since I've never tried sesame paste before! Two of us ordered the popular choice sesame and almond paste, while my other friend went for the green bean soup.

I found the white almond paste swirling in the soup so pretty!

First time trying sesame paste and IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT. The sesame paste taste was very prominent despite the presence of the overwhelming almond. It was thick and luxurious, the color toned to a white perfection and when stirred with the black paste, formed a pretty grey chalkish color that melted on my tongue. It was a really big bowl, for only $2.50! I was so bloated by three quarters of the bowl, but I forced myself to finish it heh. My two other friends couldn't finish theirs, and this is so embarrassing to say but....I finished their shares too. Okay I'm a glutton, sue me.

When I mixed it in, it became a murky grey that would probably be very un-photogenic XD

The green bean soup was LOADED with ingredients. Every spoonful would be piled high with green bean, sago, you name it. Even when there was no more soup left, there were still leftover ingredients. For $2.50, this is the best bowl of green bean soup I've had from an outside shop. Usually at food courts or those market shops, the ratio of soup:green bean is like 10:1. No kidding. Okay this was really good. The aunties there were so super nice too! 

We left the shop super happy and yet, still hungry. Thankfully, we planned well and our next stop, Scoopz, was right next door! Hehe. (; we went in and were greeted by really nice staff, and there was a family in there with a super cute baby boy who we started playing with! 

4th stop: Scoopz!

We went to the counter and there was a really wide range of selections to choose from, and the lady at the counter was so nice and even recommended flavors to us! We tried so many, even more than that at salted caramel. I didn't know what flavor to choose! 

Eventually, I chose the green tea, because it was really SO GOOD. I've never tried a better one so far, at any other ice cream shop, other than Tsujiri. And that really says something cos Tsujiri is like, the king of green tea ice cream. If you haven't tried that, you're missing out on a lot. Okay but now the focus is on this!

So I ordered the green tea single scoop with the waffle. But I didn't know it came with syrup. we actually had the choice of chocolate syrup or maple syrup, but the counter girl hadn't asked me what I wanted so I had assumed mine didn't have to have sauce. So when my plate arrived, I was horrified to to see my waffle and ice cream drizzled excessively with chocolate syrup. Like really? CHOCOLATE SYRUP? That high calorie, sugar filled liquid? You gotta be kidding me. I freaked out mentally, like really all hell broke loose. I almost wanted to ask them to change it for me. But I saw my other two friends also having chocolate syrup, just like me. I think my friend kind of noticed my anxiety and told me, "matcha and chocolate is the best combination. Trust me." Resigned to fate, i dug in with a happy heart. YOLO, right? And the first mouth I took, BOOM. An explosion of flavor in my mouth. The green tea was strong and blended perfectly with the sweet chocolate, and topped with the drenched waffle, I was in bliss. 

Looks gross? No. Its ASDFGHJKL GOOD. The flow. The ooze. The combination. The smell. Heaven.

Okay this may look gross but really, this is how I love my waffles. Well spread ice cream, soaking into my waffle. NOM. The waffle was lacking in fragrance compared to that of Salted Caramel, but it was good enough for me. Totally satisfied my cravings. I finished everything with no problem!

Then my friend had to go be triggering and said she couldn't finish hers. She hadn't finished her green bean soup at the shop earlier either, and I knew she was on a diet. So I got really angst and pissed, but i couldn't say anything. And to actually admit, I was still a lil hungry so I ended up eating half of hers :/ sigh the guilt then was tremendous but I decided to just forget it, I was gaining anyway.

Err....okay so I forgot what flavor this was LOL. It was yummy, but not to my taste. A lil too sweet!

Chocolate Ganache Ice Cream with waffle and chocolate syrup. Chocolate overload boom. But this is the one that I ate half of.

We had actually wanted to go to another place, but due to time constraints, we decided to leave it to next time. We left Upper Thomson with pretty full stomachs, erupting sugar levels and happy hearts. 

To end this off well, I just wanna say recovery is so worth it. Sure, its filled with so many ups and downs, sadness and guilt. But along with it, there is also times of happiness, achievement. This is one of those where I just feel so free, so NORMAL again. To just spend time to chat with my friends over a good meal, I think everyone deserves that. So don't let your disorder ruin you anymore. Get your life back. As I think I have done a pretty good job getting back mine (: And upper thomson, I'll be back. I still have yet to try Neli's ): Any other good places to recommend here? Oh yes I gotta go to Auntie Kim's Korean Restaurant toooooo