Recently I realized that a few people from my school liked my photos on instagram. Since our meals are all served in set meals(thus the same box set looking meals each time), I think they know its from my school. I'm not sure if they know who owns the account though, but that thought troubles me a lot. Do they know its me? Do my classmates know that I have an ED even without me telling them? Do they know im anorexic? How do they think of me now? Will they judge me? Am I attention seeking? I'm actually most worried that my batchmates/classmates know who I am. I don't mind if they read my blog and find out; since these are my honest thoughts. But is posting my meals 'lame', 'attention seeking', 'retarded'? I don't know. To them I think it is.
So now I'm considering stopping posting all my school food meals completely. To prevent circulation or anything. Maybe just post my home food. I don't know what to do. I'm in a dilemma. Sometimes, posting my thoughts with my photos is just a quick option to vent when I don't have time to blog or tell anyone my troubles. But as a person, as my character is, I guess I'm just really worried about how people view me. How people judge me. How I look in other's eyes. I don't want to be given 'special treatment' or treated differently. I just want to be normal. Even things like this affect me. I guess I'll go through with this decision. And hopefully I'll manage to be strong with solely my blog😊
Here's to the last burst. 3 weeks down. 1.3kg. 1 week to go. Pretty much gonna force myself to eat at every opportunity and just pray a miracle happens, to gain 1kg.
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